You said “send me stationary to make me horny”
So I always write you letters in multicolours
Decorating envelopes for foreplay
Damn extended metaphors, I get carried away

On the back of a natural disaster, fixed with parcel tape and with kids sticking plasters
Nothing says “I miss you” quite like war poetry you carved in your door with a Stanley knife

I know this was from a few years ago now but I was listening to it yesterday and the geeky lyrics still get me every time.  It’s built to appeal.

It’s bad enough you ever use the word as an adjective
But to suggest we do it in heels is really quite crass
And frankly, we’re reasonably practical
And we know the benefits of always doing these things in flats

Who can argue with the sense of that?  Plus my all time favourite:

If you catch me with my hands in the till
I promise, sugar, I wasn’t trying to steal
I’m just swimming in copper
to smell and pretend like a robot